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标题: 每日一笑 [打印本页]

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-8-13 17:05
标题: 每日一笑
Englishman

　　Once, late at night, an Englishman came out of his room into the corridor of a hotel and asked the servant to bring him a glass of water. The servant did as he was asked. The Englishman re-entered his room, but a few minutes later he came into the corridor again and once more asked the servant for a glass of water. The servant brought him another glass of water. Every few minutes the Englishmen would come out of his room and repeat his request. After a half-hour the astonished servant decided to ask the Englishman what he was doing with the water. "Nothing," the Englishman answered imperturbably, "It’s simply that my room is on fire."

一个英国人
　　一天晚上，一个英国人从他住的旅店房间里走出来。来到走廊上，叫旅店的服务员给他拿一杯水来。服务员按他的要求做了。英国人回到了他的房间里，几分钟后他又来到走廊上，让服务员再给他送一杯水。服务员又给他送了一杯水。每隔几分钟。英国人就走出房间重复他的要求。半小时之后．这位感到惊讶的服务员决定问问房客要这些水干什么，英国人不谎不忙地回答：”没什么．只不过是我的房间里起火了。“

作者: sclongwar 时间: 2008-8-13 17:36
It's simply that my room is on fire.

作者: luqing_sz 时间: 2008-8-13 18:25
it's really an interesting story.

作者: aries0325 时间: 2008-8-13 18:51
something kind of foolish!

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-8-14 14:23
Much Worse

Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

中文：
Policeman：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？
男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。

作者: lkf1986 时间: 2008-8-14 14:37
gold teeth!

作者: zdream_80 时间: 2008-8-14 15:42
不是很确定这个说法是否正确，高人简单说下!
Is it wrong or not ?

引用第3楼aries0325于2008-08-13 18:51发表的 :
something kind of foolish!

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-8-16 12:57
8月15号忘了，现在补上：

A Useful Way

Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water?
Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.
Father: What's that got to do with it?
Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.

中文：
爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝这么多水呀？
杰克：我刚才吃了个苹果，爸爸。
爸爸：可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢？
杰克：我忘了洗苹果呀

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-8-16 12:58
8月16：

I knew I could count on you!

Smith goes to see his boss in the front office. "Boss," he says: "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage."

"We're short-handed, Smith." the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off."

"Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"

中文：
史密斯去找他的老板。“老板，我们家明天有很重的工作要做，我妻子让我修阁楼和车库。”
　　“可我们很缺人，史密斯。”老板答道，“我不可能放你的假。”
　　“谢谢，老板。”史密斯说，“我就知道你会帮我。”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-8-17 09:52
0817:

Waste or Save?

Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don't you know you are wasting time?
Jack: Yes, Dad. But I've saved you a meal, haven' I?

中文：
父亲：噢，杰克，你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗？
杰克：我知道，爸爸。可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢，是不是？

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-8-18 13:17
0818 今天刘翔因伤退出奥运，默哀一分钟。。。。

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Absent-minded Professor

An absent-minded professor was lecturing on anatomy.

"To show you more clearly what I mean, I have here a parcel with a dissected frog. I want you to examine it very carefully."

The professor unwrapped the parcel and saw that it contained two sandwiches and a hard-bioled egg. Astonished, the professor said, "I was sure I had eaten my lunch, but where is the frog?"

中文：
　　一位粗心的教授正在上解剖课。

　　 “为了让你们更清楚地理解我所讲的内容，这个包里有一只解剖了的青蛙，你们要仔细地观察。”

　　教授打开包，里面竟是两个三明治和一个熟鸡蛋。教授十分惊讶：“我肯定是已经吃过午饭了，可是那只青蛙哪儿去了呢？”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-8-19 14:36
0819

Where is the father?

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

中文：
　　兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

　　 “看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”

　　 “是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”

　　哥哥想了一会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-8-20 11:33
0820

Now We Run

　　A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow, places his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder and gives the doorbell a sold ring. Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles and asks, "And now what, my little man?" The boy replies, "Now we run!"

中文：

现在我们跑吧

一个牧师正沿着街走路，这时他看到街对面有个小男孩正试图按一所房子的门铃。但这个小孩太小了，门铃又高，他够不着。看到那个小男孩费了很多劲，牧师走近了他。牧师优雅地穿过马路，走到小家伙的背后，轻轻地把手放在小男孩肩头，按响了门铃。他弯下身子，微笑着问道：“接下来怎么办，孩子？”小男孩回答说：“接下来我们跑。”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-8-21 16:32
0821

I don't even know that woman

　　A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman siting on a bench, passionately kissing.
　　"Why don't you do that?" said the wife.
　　"Honey," replied her husband, "I don't even know that woman!"

中文：

我又不认识那个女人

　　一对在公园散步的夫妇注意到坐在长凳上的那对年轻男女正在热烈地接吻。
　　“为什么你不能那样做呢？”妻子说。
　　“亲爱的，”她丈夫回答，“我又不认识那个女人！”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-8-22 12:58
0822

Always Thirsty

"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."
"That's terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"
"No, but I am always thirsty!"

中文：

总感到口渴

　　一个男人对他的朋友说：“我动了一次手术，手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”
　　“真是太糟糕了！”朋友说道：“你觉得疼吗？”
　　“不疼，可是我总感到口渴。”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-8-23 11:41
0823

The Mean Man's Party

　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"

中文：

　　　　一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
　　“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”
　　“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-8-25 11:47
0824

Dating for Mother

　　When the young waitress in the café in Tom’s building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"

　　 "Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.

　　 "So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"

中文：

约会

　　在汤姆工作的大楼里有一个咖啡屋，那儿总有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。汤姆有些受宠若惊，因为这位小姐看上去至少比他年轻15岁。一天她又对汤姆招手并示意汤姆过去。于是汤姆走了过去。她问道，“您现在是单身吗？” “对，是单身，”汤姆满脸堆笑的说。 “我母亲也是，”她说，“您愿不愿意见见她？”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-8-25 11:48
0825

We Left Nothing

　　 Mrs Brown was going out for the day. She locked the house and tacked a note for the milkman on the door: "NOBODY HOME. DON’T LEAVE ANYTHING."

　　 When she got back that night, she found her door broken open and her house ransacked. On the note she had left, she found the following message added:

　　 "THANKS! WE HAVEN’T LEFT ANYTHING!"

中文：

我们什么也没留下
　　布朗太太要外出一天。她锁好了房门，在门上给送牛奶的人钉了一张便条：“家里没人，请不要留下任何东西！” 她当天晚上回家后发现房间门被撞开，房子被洗劫一空。在她留给送奶人的便条上，她发现被补充了一句： “谢谢！我们什么也没留下！”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-8-26 20:30
0826

No Cavities
A smiling boy arrived home from a dental visit,"Hey mom,the dentist says I have no cavities. "

　　 His mom stared at him wide-eyed and quite surprised,"It’s impossible --you never brush your teeth after cleaning the chocolate box before you go to bed!

　　 Then the boy opened his mouth --he had not a tooth left!

中文：

我没有蛀牙
　　小男孩儿看完牙医，面带微笑地回到家：“嘿，妈妈，牙医说，我一颗蛀牙也没有。” 　　妈妈惊讶地瞪大眼睛：“不可能——你每回上床睡觉前都把巧克力盒子里的糖一下子吃完，而且从来不刷牙！” 　　这时，男孩儿张开了嘴巴——他的牙全被拔光了。

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-8-27 22:25
0827

It's His Fault

　　Billy and Bobby were brothers, and they often had fights with each other.
Last Saturday their mother said to them, "I'm going to cook our lunch now. Go out and play in the garden - and be good."
"Yes, Mummy." the two boys answered, and they went out.
They played in the garden for half an hour, and then Billy ran into the kitchen, "Mummy, " he said, "Bobby's broken a window in Mrs. Allens' house."
"He's a bad boy," his mother said. "How did he break it?"
"I threw a stone at him," Billy answered,"and he quickly ducked.".

中文：

　　比利和波比是两兄弟，两人经常打架。
　　上个星期六，他们的妈妈对他们说：“我现在要做午饭了。去，到花园去玩吧，别淘气。”
　　“是，妈妈。”两个男孩回答，然后他们就出去了。
　　他们在花园里玩了半个小时，然后比利跑进了厨房。“妈妈，”他说：“ 波比打碎了艾伦太太家的窗玻璃。”
　　“他是个坏孩子。”他妈妈说。“他是怎么把玻璃打碎的？”
　　“我朝他扔了一块石子，”比利回答：“他蹲下了。”

作者: frankpeng 时间: 2008-8-28 09:55
Dear fengfan4613:

Good idea, Pls persist in it, If you need, Pls freely tell me, I will support you.......

作者: loverby 时间: 2008-8-28 14:32
good,very good

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-8-28 20:10
0828

Excuse for Speeding

　　 Harry and Lloyd were speeding down the road. A police car pulled them over.
　　‘Why on earth were you driving so fast?’ the policeman yelled.
　　'Our brakes are no good-so we wanted to get there before we had an accident!'

中文：
超速的理由

　　哈里与劳埃德超速行驶，一辆警车拦住了他们。
　　“你们为什么开那么快？”警官喊道。
　　“我们的刹车不好，因此我们想在发生事故前赶紧到达目的地。”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-8-29 23:23

引用第20楼frankpeng于2008-08-28 09:55发表的 :
Dear fengfan4613:

Good idea, Pls persist in it, If you need, Pls freely tell me, I will support you.......

Dear frankpeng,

Thank you for your support.I will persist it for ever.

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-8-29 23:25
0829

The Reason of Late

　Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?

　Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'.

中文：
迟到的原因

　　老师：约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到？

　　约翰尼：每当我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着'学校－缓行'。

作者: lvyongjian 时间: 2008-8-30 12:27
very good，

作者: yanwenfeng 时间: 2008-8-30 15:45
just a joke

作者: yxd2008 时间: 2008-8-30 16:17
8月30日

1、Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,就看见一个牌子上写着"学校----慢行".

2.Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

老师：这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

3、"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。

4、George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said
that two and four were six too....."

9月1日, 乔治放学回到家里。
"乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？" 妈妈问。
"妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"

5. Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates
were thinking it hard.The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then
hear the thunderrolls? Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

在一次物理考试时，当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
这个问题是：为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声？
尼克的回答是：因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。

作者: luqing_sz 时间: 2008-8-30 16:40
The Reason of Late ??有这种表达的吗?我记得of Late 是"近来"的意思.

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-8-31 20:20
0830(补)

Main Entrance

　　A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read ’BEST DEALS.’
　　 He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading ’LOWEST PRICES.’
　　 The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read ’MAIN ENTRANCE’.

中文：
主要入口处

　　一个商店主看到一个和他卖几乎相同东西的店在隔壁开张很慌张，那个店竖起一个大牌子："最好的商品"
　　他看到他的右边又有一个竞争对手，也有一个更大的牌子“最便宜的价格“他也很不安。
　　终于他不再不安了，因为他想出了个好主意他树立了一个最大的牌子在中间，他的店面前：“主要入口处”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-8-31 20:21
0831
They are directly from America

　　Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

中文：
它们是直接从美国带来的

　　一位中国老太太去美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后她实在忍不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这些都是真正的美元，它们都是直接从美国带来的。”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-1 23:26
0831

Bedtime Prayers

　　　　Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. &quot

lease God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."

　　 Her mother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"

　　 And Julie replied, "Because that’s what I put in my geography exam!"

中文：
睡前祷告词

　　朱莉叶在做睡前祷告。“祷告上帝，”她说，“让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。”

　　妈妈打断她说：“朱莉叶，你为什么求上帝让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都呢？”

　　朱莉叶回答说：“因为我在地理考卷上是这么写的。”

作者: mikeboy1125 时间: 2008-9-2 09:14
要提高了

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-2 22:24
补0901

Jesus’s Telly

　　A child on Christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib. Eventually the artistic masterpiece was displayed for parental approval. The manager, the shepherds, Jesus and 　　
　　 Holy Family wore duly admired.
　　 "But what’s that in the corner?" asked Mother.
　　 "Oh, that’s their telly," replied the tot.

中文：
耶稣的电视机
　　圣诞节时孩子要了纸和蜡笔，想画一张耶稣诞生像。最后这件艺术品被陈列出来供父母鉴赏。
　　他们对耶稣诞生后睡的马槽，牧羊人，耶稣及其家庭都逐一表示赞赏。
　　 “可是那个角落里是什么？”妈妈问。
　　 “噢，那是他们的电视机，”孩子回答说。

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-2 22:25
0902

Half or Five Tenths?

　　Teacher: Would you rather have one half of an orange or five tenths?
　　 Gerald: I’d much rather have the half.
　　 Teacher: Think carefully, and tell me why.
　　 Gerald: Because you lose too much juice when you cut the orange into five tenths.

中文：
半个还是十分之五

　　老师：你愿意要半个柑橘，还是十分之五个柑橘？
　　杰拉得：我宁可要半个。
　　老师：仔细想想，说出理由来。
　　杰拉得：因为你如果把柑橘切成十分之五，那柑橘汁就损失太多了。

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-4 15:56
近段时间忙于找工作，昨天竟然忘了：
0903(补)

Who do you think you are?

　　The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn’t let him aboard.
　 “It is too crowded, “they shouted.” who do you think you are?”
　 “I am the driver.” he said.

中文：
你以为你是谁？
　　公共汽车上很挤，当又一个人还是试图上车时，乘客们不让他上。
　　“车上太挤了，”他们喊道，“你以为你是谁？”
　　“我是司机！”他说。

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-4 15:56
0904

if I Am a Manager

　　One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – if I Am a Manager.
　　 All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.
　　 “I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.

中文：
如果我是一个经理
　　一天课上，老师要同学们以“如果我是一个经理”为题写一篇作文。
　　所有的学生都在动笔写了，只有一个男生例外。老师走过去问他为什么不写。
　　 “我在等我的秘书”。那孩子答道。

作者: cutlassfish 时间: 2008-9-5 09:02
有意思，呵呵呵

作者: luqing_sz 时间: 2008-9-6 16:13
0906
你等着发工资吧
If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money... wait for your salary.

　　如果你感到孤独，我做你的影子。如果你想哭泣，我做你的肩膀。如果你想要拥抱，我做你的枕头。如果你想要快乐，我做你的微笑。如果你想要钱……等着发工资吧！

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-7 23:36
0905

The Looney Bin

　　Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院）one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Another one said, "How do you know?"
　　The first inmate said, "God told me!"
　　Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"

中文：
疯人院
　　一天晚上，在疯人院里，一个病人说：“我是拿破仑！”另一个说：“你怎么知道？”第一个人说：“上帝对我说的！”一会儿，一个声音从另一个房间传来：“我没说！”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-7 23:37
0906

A Man of Actions

　　 A crowd of student was gathered on the campus of Oxford University. “You can have no doubt,” shouted a young man excitedly, “that if the Dean does not take back what he said to me this morning, I’ll leave Oxford this very evening！”
　　 A buzzing noise followed. “What a man of actions！” one said in admiration. “How should we support him and learn from him！” said another.
　　 Suddenly, a girl asked, “What did the Dean say to you, Hob?”
　　 He bent and whispered to her, “Well,er···er···Miss Rose, er···he told me to get clean away from Oxford this very evening！”

中文：
一个言出必行的人

　　一群学生聚在牛津的校园里，一个年轻人情绪激动地叫道：“毋庸置疑，如果那个家伙不收回他今早　　对我说的话，我今晚就离开牛津。”
　　下面一片喧哗。“真是个言出必行的人。”一个人艳羡地说。另一个说：“我们要支持他、学习他。”
　　突然，一个女孩问道：“那家伙对你说什么了，霍波？”
　　他弯下腰小声说：“哦，呃…呃…，罗斯小姐，呃…他说要我今晚从牛津滚出去。”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-7 23:38
0907

Correct

　 Teacher: Jimmy, what are the three words which pupils use most often at school?
　 Jimmy: I don’t know...
　 Teacher: Correct.

中文：
很对

　　教师：吉米，学生在学校里经常用的三个字是什么？
　　吉米：不知道……
　　老师：很对。

作者: 大耳狼 时间: 2008-9-8 17:16
英語太難學了,誰能告訴我簡單一點的方法

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-9 11:09
0908

Why did it make you late

Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black,
“Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream.”
“Why did it make you late?” inquired the teacher.
“Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time,” replied Mike.

中文：
那什么会使你迟到呢

迈克上学迟到了。他对老师布莱克先生说：“对不起，我迟到了，老师。我梦见了一场足球赛。”
老师问：“那什么会使你迟到呢？”
迈克回答说：“因为两个队不分胜负，因此持续了很长时间。”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-9 11:09
0909

Boxing and Running

Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight."
Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box."
Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."

中文：
拳击和赛跑
丹在教他的儿子怎样拳击。他告诉他的朋友：“这是一个粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的儿子怎么去拼搏。”
朋友：“如果他碰上的对手是一个比他高大，健壮而且也会拳击的人怎么办？”
丹：“我也会教他怎么样赛跑呢。”

作者: timothy 时间: 2008-9-9 13:52

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-11 11:57
0910

The Climate of New Zealand

　　Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?
　　 Matthew: Very Cold, sir.
　　 Teacher: Wrong.
　　 Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!

中文：
新西兰的气候
　　老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样？
　　马修：老师，那里的天气很冷。
　　老师：错了。
　　马修：可是，老师！从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-11 12:18
0911

The Fourth Element

　　Teacher: What are the four element of nature?
　　 Student: Fire, air, earth, and... and ...
　　 Teacher: And what? Just think it over, what do you wash your hands with?
　　 Student: Soap!

中文：
新西兰的气候
　　老师：自然界的四大元素是什么？
　　学生：火、气、土和......
　　老师：和什么？想一想，你用什么洗手的？
　　学生：肥皂。

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-12 11:07
0912

To Buy a Video

　　Amos asked his mother whether they could have a video.
　　 "I’m afraid we can’t afford one," sighed his mother.
　　 But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video.
　　 "How on earth did you pay for that?" gasped his mother.
　　 "Easy, Mum." replied Amos, "I sold the television!"

中文：
买录像机
　　艾莫斯问妈妈他们是否能买一台录像机。
　　 ”恐怕我们还买不起，“妈妈叹息着说。
　　可第二天当艾莫斯回来时，他摇摇晃晃地搬着一台全新的录像机。
　　 ”你究竟是哪儿来的钱买这东西？“妈妈大吃一惊，喘着气说。
　　 ”妈妈，这简单，“ 艾曼斯回答。”我把电视机给卖了！"

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-16 13:55
0913

Compliment
　　 "Larry! Come here!" said his furious mother, putting the telephone down, " I’ve just had a call from Mrs. Harrison about your behavior to her Doris at the school dance last night. You wretched, rude boy!"
　　 "I was nice to her, Mum, really I was!" protested the youth.
　　 "I even paid her a compliment when we had a dance."
　　 "Did you, indeed?" said his mother grimly, "And what exactly did you say?"
　　 "I said, Gosh, Doris, you sweat less than any fat girl I’ve ever danced with!"

中文：
恭维话
　　“拉里，你过来！”妈妈放下电话后生气地说，“我刚才接到哈里森夫人地电话，她告诉我你在昨晚的学校舞会上对多丽丝行为不好，你可耻，粗鲁！”
　　 “妈妈，我对她很好，真的！”小伙子不服气地说。“当我和她跳舞时我还说了一句恭维她的话。”
　　 “你真的这么做的吗？”妈妈严厉地问。“你的原话是怎么说的？”
　　 “我说，啊呀，多丽丝，你比我跳过舞的任何胖姑娘出汗都少！”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-16 13:56
0914

I Caught Every Step
　　Mr. Brown was reading his evening paper when there came a tremendous banging down the stairs. He jumped up, ran to the hall, and discovered his schoolboy son sprawled on the floor.
　　 "Did you miss a step?" asked his dad.
　　 "No, I caught every blessed one!" came the bitter answered.

中文：
我一级也没漏
　　布朗先生在看晚报，忽然传来一阵什么东西从楼上摔下来的响声。他跳了起来，跑到厅里，发现自己上了学的儿子四角朝天地躺在地上。
　　 ”你是不是踩漏了一级台阶？“爸爸问。
　　 ”不，我每一级都撞上了，一级也没有漏掉！“儿子痛苦地回答。

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-16 13:57
0915

I Hope So
　　Neighbour: Do you think your son will forget all he learned at college?
　　Father: I hope so -- he certainly can’t make a living by kissing girls!

中文：
我希望如此
　　邻居：您认为您的儿子会把在大学里学的东西全忘光吗？
　　父亲：我希望这样－他当然不能以吻女孩子谋生吧！

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-16 13:58
0916

Conduct and Courtesy
Father: The school report gives you a D for conduct and an A for courtesy. How did you manage that?
Cuthbert: Whenever I punch someone, I apologize.

中文：
品德与礼貌
父亲：学校的成绩单上给你的品德分是D，礼貌分是A，你这是怎么搞的？
卡斯伯特：无论我什么时候打了人，过后我都会向人家道歉的。

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-17 13:28
0917

A cat and her four kittens ran into a large dog. When the kittens cowered, the cat let out a series of loud barks, scaring the dog away.

Turning to her kittens, the cat said, "You see how important it is to know a second language."

中文：
懂得一门外语的重要性
一只大猫带着四只小猫，突然路遇一只大狗，小猫吓的往后退缩，这时大猫对着狗一阵大吠，把狗吓跑。

大猫扭头对小猫说：“看到没有，知道懂得一门外语的重要性了吧。”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-18 13:12
0918

This is my seat
It was a woman's first time on a plane. She boarded the plane and found herself a window seat.

After she settled in, a man came over and insisted that she was in his seat. She ignored him and told him to go away.

"Okay," replied the man. "If that's the way you want it, you fly the plane."

中文：
你坐错了，这是我的位子
有个妇女第一次坐飞机。上了飞机后她找到自己的座位坐了下来。

一会一个男人做过来坚持说她坐的是他的位子。这个妇女不理睬他，并叫他走开。

“好吧，”这个男的回答，“如果你坚持的话，那你来驾驶飞机吧。”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-19 16:24
0719

Lady: I'd like to buy a sweater for my dog.
Clerk: What size?
Lady: I have no idea.
Clerk: Well, why don't you bring in the dog and try one on?
Lady: Oh, I can't do that. I want it to be a surprise.

中文：
我想给它一个惊喜
女士：我想给我的小狗买件毛线衫。
店员：多大的？
女士：我也不知道。
店员：那您为什么不把它带来试一试呢？
女士：哦，我不想那样做，因为我想给它一个惊喜?

作者: timothy 时间: 2008-9-20 11:36
nothing value lfor aughing

作者: luqing_sz 时间: 2008-9-20 12:38
Correction:nothing value for laughing

作者: 雨花石 时间: 2008-9-20 12:53
i like this page layout!

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-20 19:38
0920

Present for Mother
There was a woman who had three sons. When they had grown up the sons left home went out on their own and prospered years later. Getting back together they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first said "I will build a big house for our mother."
The second said "I will send her a Mercedes with a driver."
The third said "Remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible And you know she can't see very well. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot recites it."
Soon thereafter mom sent out her letters of thanks.
"Milton" she wrote to one son "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room but I have to clean the whole house."
"Gerald" she wrote to another "I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude"
"Dearest Donald" she wrote to her third son "you have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."

中文：
送给妈妈的礼物(意想不到)
　　一个女人有3个儿子。长大成人后，儿子们纷纷出外谋生，数年后功成名就。回到家乡，他们聚在一起，商量送什么礼物给年迈的母亲。
　　第一个说：“我要给母亲建一所大房子。”
　　第二个说：“我要把一辆梅塞德斯连同司机一起送给母亲。”
　　第三个说：“你们还记得吧？妈妈特别喜欢读《圣经》。你们也知道，她的眼现在有点花了。我要送她一只非同寻常的鹦鹉，这只鹦鹉可以将整部《圣经》背诵下来，神父们花了12年的时间才教会它。妈妈只需要说出篇章、段落，这只鹦鹉就能把它背出来。”
　　之后不久，母亲给儿子们分别回信表示感谢。
　　 “米尔顿，”她在信中给一个儿子写道，“你为我建的房子实在有点太大了，我只住一个房间，却需要打扫整所房子。”
　　 “杰罗德，”她给另一个儿子写道，“我太老了，不能再出去旅游了。大部分时间我都待在家里，那辆梅塞德斯很少用。而且，那个司机也太粗鲁了！”
　　 “我最亲爱的唐纳德，”在给第三个儿子的信中她写道，“你最知道妈妈需要什么，那只小鸡非常好吃。”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-20 19:41

引用第56楼timothy于2008-09-20 11:36发表的 :
nothing value lfor aughing

??????????????????????

nothing????

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-22 11:23
0921

Lady: I'd like to buy a sweater for my dog.
Clerk: What size?
Lady: I have no idea.
Clerk: Well, why don't you bring in the dog and try one on?
Lady: Oh, I can't do that. I want it to be a surprise.

中文：
我想给它一个惊喜
女士：我想给我的小狗买件毛线衫。
店员：多大的？
女士：我也不知道。
店员：那您为什么不把它带来试一试呢？
女士：哦，我不想那样做，因为我想给它一个惊喜?

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-22 11:24
0922

A little girl's grandfather had a long beard, but one morning he shaved it off.
When he came down to breakfast, the little girl cried, "Grandpa! Whose head have you got on?".

中文：
爷爷！你用的谁的脑袋？
一个小女孩的爷爷留着很长很长的胡子，但是有天早上他把胡子刮掉了。
当他从楼上下来吃早饭的时候，小女孩惊呼到：“爷爷！你用的谁的脑袋啊？”

作者: timothy 时间: 2008-9-22 13:52

作者: luqing_sz 时间: 2008-9-23 12:52

引用第62楼fengfan4613于2008-09-22 11:24发表的 :
0922

A little girl's grandfather had a long beard, but one morning he shaved it off.
When he came down to breakfast, the little girl cried, "Grandpa! Whose head have you got on?".

.......

Really, An interesting story.

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-23 15:15
0923

One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim. What happened? Did your father help you?"

"No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all myself," said Tim.

中文：
昨天你爸爸帮你做作业了吗
一天，蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业，发现他全做对了。老师很高兴，同时也十分惊讶。他把蒂姆叫到桌前说："蒂姆，你这次的作业全都做对了，怎么回事？你爸爸帮你做了吗？"

"不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做了。"

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-24 09:22
0924

A: Which do you find more important, money or friends?

B: Friends, of course.

A: Why?

B: I can always borrow money from friends.

中文：
朋友和钱Money
A：你认为钱和朋友哪一个更重要？

B：当然是朋友。

A：为什么？

B：我总可以从朋友那儿借到钱。

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-25 15:52
0925

Mother: "Susie, every time you misbehave, i get another gray hair."
Susie: "Gosh, mom, you must have been a terror! Just look at Grandma!"

中文：

妈，你肯定一直都表现很糟

母亲: "每次你表现不好,我就多长一根白发."
苏茜: "天哪,妈,那你肯定一直都表现很糟,看看外婆吧!"

作者: jannyjerry 时间: 2008-9-26 14:32
先回個貼再慢慢看，看貼回貼是美德

作者: fair 时间: 2008-9-26 14:44

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-9-26 15:35
0926

"May I borrow your record player tonight ?" a man asked his neighbour .

"Sure . Do you want to listen to some music?"

"No ." he answered ." Tonight I want to have some peace and quiet."

中文：

我想安安静静地休息一下

　“今晚我可以借用以下你的唱机吗？”一个人对他的邻居说道。

　 “当然可以，你也想听听音乐吗？”

　 “不，”他回答道，“今晚我想安安静静地休息一下。”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-6 14:26
不好意思，国庆放假，忘记更新，今天全部更新：

0927
you have to roll up the windows first

A woman got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop.

The repairman decided to have a wee bit of fun. So he told her all she had to do was to take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out.

After 15 minutes of this, a lady－one of the woman's friends came over and asked what she was doing.

"I'm trying to pop out this dent, but it's not really working."

"Duh you have to roll up the windows first!"

中文：

你必须先把车窗摇上去

　　修理工决定幽她一默。他告诉她,她只需把车开回家,然后从排气管里往车里吹气,直到凹陷处自己鼓起来。

　　这位女士如法操作了15分钟。这时,她的一位女性朋友来拜访她,并问她在做什么。

　　 “我正在试着让那个坑鼓起来,但这个办法似乎并不管用。”

　　 “嗯……你必须先把车窗摇上去！”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-6 14:27
0928

I have no cavities

A smiling boy arrived home from a dental visit,"Hey mom,the dentist says I have no cavities. "

His mom stared at him wide-eyed and quite surprised,"It’s impossible --you never brush your teeth after cleaning the chocolate box before you go to bed!

Then the boy opened his mouth --he had not a tooth left!

中文：

我一颗蛀牙都没有

小男孩儿看完牙医，面带微笑地回到家：“嘿，妈妈，牙医说，我一颗蛀牙也没有。”

妈妈惊讶地瞪大眼睛：“不可能——你每回上床睡觉前都把巧克力盒子里的糖一下子吃完，而且从来不刷牙！”

这时，男孩儿张开了嘴巴——他的牙全被拔光了。

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-6 14:29
0929

A unit in sex education was about to begin, and each student had to bring in a permission slip in order to take it. A boy handed in his slip and explained to the teacher, "My mom says I can take the course as long as there's no homework."

中文：

只要没有家庭作业就可以

学校即将开始性教育课程，每个学生都要先回去证得父母的同意，方能学习此课程。一个小男孩把他父母的同意纸条交给老师说：“我妈妈说了，只要这个课没有家庭作业，我就可以上。”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-6 14:30
0930

Great Event

Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?
Tom: Abraham Lincoln was born.
Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?
Tom: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.

中文：

重大事件

老师：1809年发生了什么重大事件？
汤姆：亚伯拉罕·林肯诞生。
老师：正确。那么1812年发生了什么重要事件呢？
汤姆：亚伯拉罕·林肯过他的三周岁生日。

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-6 14:32
1001

You Are Too Late
On the bus a man discovered a pickpocket's hand thrust into his pocket.
"sorry," he said to the pickpocket, "you are too late. My wife did it before you."

中文：

你太晚了You Are Too Late

在公共汽车上一人发现一个小偷把手伸到了他的口袋里。
“对不起，”他对小偷说，“你太晚了，我妻子在你之前就做过同样的事情了。”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-6 14:32
1002
It is I who made my husband a millionaire

A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, "A billionaire."

中文：

我把丈夫变成了百万富翁

“我把丈夫变成了一个百万富翁。”一个女人告诉她的朋友。
“那他结婚前是什么样的呢？”朋友问。
“那时他是个千万富翁。”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-6 14:33
1003

An Essential Correction

Teacher: Walter, why don't you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning.
Walter: 　What was it?
Teacher: Eggs.
Walter: 　Wrong. That was yesterday.

中文：

实质性的纠正

老　师：沃尔特，你为什么不洗脸?我看得出你今天早饭吃了什么。
沃尔特：我吃了什么？
老　师：鸡蛋。
沃尔特：错了，老师。那是昨天吃的。

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-6 14:33
1004

True Or False?

One day a young businessman asked his girl friend, "Dear, will you marry me if I am bankrupt?"
"Of course, I will." the girl said firmly.
"Do you mean what you say?" the man asked.
"That's what I want to ask you." the girl said.

中文：

真的还是假的

一天一个年轻的商人问他女朋友：“亲爱的，如果我破产了你还会嫁给我吗？”
“当然会。”女孩坚定的回答。
“你是说真的吗？”他问道。
“这正是我想问你的问题。”女孩说。

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-6 14:34
1005

Who is Stupid?

A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

Little Johnny then stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

中文：

谁愚蠢

　　一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说。

　　小约翰尼站了起来。

　　 “你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼？”老师问。

　　 “不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-6 14:34
1006

lifetime warranty

After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he'd originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "What's so special about this coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, "It has a lifetime warranty."

中文：

终身保修

　　在将母亲下葬9个月后，当地殡仪馆的一个客户终于攒够了钱去买那副他早就相中的价值不菲的棺材了。他把母亲的棺材挖了出来，将尸体转移到了那副新的钢制棺材中。“这副棺材有什么特别？”，我问葬礼的承办人。他回答说，“这种棺材终生保修。

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-9 09:37
1007

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left."
Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we can fly just fine on two engines."
An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don't worry ... we still have one engine left."
A young child passenger turned to his mother in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"

中文：

　　堪萨斯城出发到多伦多的航班出发15分钟后，机长通知：“女士们先生们，我们四个引擎中的一个发生故障，但不用担心，我们还有三个引擎，到达时间会推迟一个小时。”
30分钟后，机长通知：“又一个引擎发生故障，但不用担心，我们还有两个引擎，到达时间会再推迟两个小时。”
60分钟后，机长通知：“又一个引擎发生故障，但不用担心，我们还有一个引擎，到达时间会再推迟三个小时。”
一位少儿乘客转过头对他的妈妈说：“要是我们再坏一个引擎，就要在飞机上呆一整天了！”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-9 09:38
1008

Two Attorneys

Two attorneys went into a restaurant and ordered two drinks. Then they brought out sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches here!"

The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.

中文：

两个律师

　　两个律师走进一个餐厅，要了两杯饮料，从包中拿出三明治开始吃起来。餐厅老板走过来警告说，“你们不能在这里吃自己的三明治。”
　
　　两个律师对看了一眼，耸耸肩，然后交换了手中的三明治。

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-9 09:38
1009

I Love You, Too

Boyfriend: I'm not rich and don't have a yacht or convertible like Harry,but I love you, dear.
Girlfriend: I love you, too. But tell me more about Harry.

中文：

我也爱你

男朋友：虽然我不象哈里那样有豪华游艇和舒适的生活，但是我爱你，亲爱的。
女朋友：我也爱你。不过你能否告诉我有关哈里的一些情况呢？

作者: michaelchen 时间: 2008-10-14 23:10
It is humourous.

作者: 开先生 时间: 2008-10-15 10:29
That is a good idea..........

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-15 13:38
唉,又忘了几天没更新...失败

继续,补回

1010

The Clever Dog

A little boy was practicing his violin, while his father sat reading the newspaper. The family dog began to howl along dismally. Finally, the father could endure the combination no more and said, "Can't you play something the dog doesn't know?"

中文：

聪明的小狗

一个小男孩在练习小提琴，他的父亲在读报纸。随着小男孩的琴声，家里养的狗也开始高一声低一声的叫起来。最后，小男孩的父亲实在忍不下去了，说，“难道你就不能拉一些狗听不懂的曲子吗？”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-15 13:39
1011

Can we have our teacher back？

Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back?"

中文：

能让我们的老师回去吗？

有一次，一位督学去视察一个只有三间教室的学校。一间教室非常吵闹，因此督学抓住其中一个正在站着说话的人，把他带进另一间教室，并让他站在墙角。五分钟以后，一个小男孩从第一间教室走进来，问道，“您什么时候能让我们的老师回去呢？”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-15 13:40
1012

A Strange Telephone Call

A Chicago family was having dinner when the phone rung. The maid answered and said, "It sure is!" and hung up. The same thing happened five minutes later.
" What's going on?" asked the father.
"Some crackpot, " explained the maid, "keeps calling to say, "It's long distance from New York."

中文：

奇怪的电话

芝加哥的一家人正在吃晚饭时，电话响了。女仆去接电话并说道，“当然是。”就挂掉了。五分钟后同样的事情发生了。
“怎么回事？”父亲问道。
“一个疯子，”女仆解释说，“他总是坚持说‘从纽约到这非常远（这是纽约的长途）’。”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-15 13:41
1013

Who's 50 Cents

Jacky: I found 50 cents on the sidewalk in front of school.
Tommy: I think it's mine. I dropped 50 cents there today and couldn't find it.
Jacky: But what I found was two quarters.
Tommy: Then I'm sure it's mine. It probably broke when it hit the sidewalk.

中文：

谁的50分（钱）？

杰克：我在学校门前的人行道上拣了50分。
汤米：我想那是我的，今天我在那儿掉了50分，找不到了。
杰克：但是我拣的是两个两毛五的呀。
汤米：那就更是我的了。因为钱在掉到地上的时候可能摔两半了。

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-15 13:42
1014

an absent-minded professor

No doubt about it, my fellow monk, Father Martin, was a bit of an absent-minded professor. He often filled in for sick priests at other parishes, and one Saturday he found himself on a train to a new destination, frantically searching his pockets for his ticket. "Forget about it, Father," said the conductor, recognizing him as a regular. "I'm sure you paid for a ticket." "I can't forget about the ticket," Father Martin replied nervously. "I need to know where I'm going."

中文：

健忘的教授

毫无疑问，我的同事、Martin神父是个有点健忘的教授。他经常到别的教区给生病的牧师替班。一个周六，他又坐火车出发了，但到验票时，他却怎么都找不着放在衣服口袋里面的火车票。因为老坐火车，列车员认得教授，因此对他说，“不用找了，我想你肯定已经买过票了。”“我得把票找出来”，Martin神父不安地回答。“我得弄清楚我是要去哪”。

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-15 13:42
1015

So Would I

A fat lady walked into the dress shop. "I'd like to see a dress that would fit me," she told the clerk.
"So would I," said the tactless clerk.

中文：

我也是

一个胖女人走进服装店。“我想看一件适合我穿的衣服，”她告诉店员说。
“我也是。”不太老练的店员说道。

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-16 16:44
1016

A Whole Hour

Mr. Brown arrived for work an hour late. His clothes were torn and tattered. He was banged and bruised, and he had one arm in a sling. His boss was purple with rage.
"It's ten o'clock," screamed the boss, "you were supposed to be here　at nine. What happened?"
"I'm sorry," explained Mr. Brown, "I fell out of ten-story window."
"That took you a whole hour?"

中文：

整整一小时

布朗先生上班整整迟到了一小时，他衣衫不整，浑身青紫，一只胳膊上还打着绷带。他的老板怒火冲天。
“现在已经十点了，”老板咆哮着，“你九点钟就应该来的。到底发生了什么事？”
“对不起，”布朗先生解释道，“我从10层楼的窗户里摔下去了。”
“难道那也要用整整一个小时吗？”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-17 16:59
1017

It's Me All Right

A pretty young lady went to cash a check at a bank. The teller examined it, then asked, "Can you identify yourself? Looking puzzled, the girl dipped into her handbag and pulled out a small mirror. She glanced into it for a moment, then smiled, "Yes, it's me all right."

中文：

就是我

一位年轻漂亮的女士到银行取钱。出纳员在检查了她的存折后问道：“您能证明您的身份吗？” 这个女孩听了这话以后看上去很迷惑，随后她从手提包里拿出一个小镜子。她对着镜子照了一会儿，笑了：“对呀，这就是我。"

作者: jason_steel 时间: 2008-10-17 17:16
有点意思！

作者: aries0325 时间: 2008-10-19 22:11
不错，继续！

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-20 09:30
1018

Expensive Price

Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.
Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five
dollars for an extraction.
Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.

中文：

昂贵的代价

牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。
母亲：二十五美元！可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀？
牙科医生：是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了。

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-20 09:40
1019

Three Turtles

Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain. The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go　home and get the umbrella."
The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."
"We won't," the other two promised.
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."
Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."

中文：

三只乌龟

三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“回家去取伞吧。”
最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”
“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。
两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”
正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。”

作者: fengfan4613 时间: 2008-10-20 09:41
1020

How to Become Rich?

Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father.
Sister's boyfriend: No, don't do that. Here's a nickel.
Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I've made this month.

中文：

如何致富？

弟弟：我看见你亲我姐姐了，如果你不给我五分钱，我就告诉我爸。
姐姐的男朋友：不要那样做。给你五分钱。
弟弟：我这个月已经赚了一块两毛五了。

作者: jason_steel 时间: 2008-10-20 09:46
不错，very good !

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