0906
A Man of Actions
A crowd of student was gathered on the campus of Oxford University. “You can have no doubt,” shouted a young man excitedly, “that if the Dean does not take back what he said to me this morning, I’ll leave Oxford this very evening！”
A buzzing noise followed. “What a man of actions！” one said in admiration. “How should we support him and learn from him！” said another.
Suddenly, a girl asked, “What did the Dean say to you, Hob?”
He bent and whispered to her, “Well,er···er···Miss Rose, er···he told me to get clean away from Oxford this very evening！”
中文：
一个言出必行的人
一群学生聚在牛津的校园里，一个年轻人情绪激动地叫道：“毋庸置疑，如果那个家伙不收回他今早 对我说的话，我今晚就离开牛津。”
下面一片喧哗。“真是个言出必行的人。”一个人艳羡地说。另一个说：“我们要支持他、学习他。”
突然，一个女孩问道：“那家伙对你说什么了，霍波？”
他弯下腰小声说：“哦，呃…呃…，罗斯小姐，呃…他说要我今晚从牛津滚出去。”
0907
Correct
Teacher: Jimmy, what are the three words which pupils use most often at school?
Jimmy: I don’t know...
Teacher: Correct.
中文：
很对
教师：吉米，学生在学校里经常用的三个字是什么？
吉米：不知道……
老师：很对。
英語太難學了,誰能告訴我簡單一點的方法
0908
Why did it make you late
Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black,
“Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream.”
“Why did it make you late?” inquired the teacher.
“Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time,” replied Mike.
中文：
那什么会使你迟到呢
迈克上学迟到了。他对老师布莱克先生说：“对不起，我迟到了，老师。我梦见了一场足球赛。”
老师问：“那什么会使你迟到呢？”
迈克回答说：“因为两个队不分胜负，因此持续了很长时间。”
0909
Boxing and Running
Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight."
Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box."
Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."
中文：
拳击和赛跑
丹在教他的儿子怎样拳击。他告诉他的朋友：“这是一个粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的儿子怎么去拼搏。”
朋友：“如果他碰上的对手是一个比他高大，健壮而且也会拳击的人怎么办？”
丹：“我也会教他怎么样赛跑呢。”
0910
The Climate of New Zealand
Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?
Matthew: Very Cold, sir.
Teacher: Wrong.
Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!
中文：
新西兰的气候
老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样？
马修：老师，那里的天气很冷。
老师：错了。
马修：可是，老师！从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。
0911
The Fourth Element
Teacher: What are the four element of nature?
Student: Fire, air, earth, and... and ...
Teacher: And what? Just think it over, what do you wash your hands with?
Student: Soap!
中文：
新西兰的气候
老师：自然界的四大元素是什么？
学生：火、气、土和......
老师：和什么？想一想， 你用什么洗手的？
学生：肥皂。
0912
To Buy a Video
Amos asked his mother whether they could have a video.
"I’m afraid we can’t afford one," sighed his mother.
But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video.
"How on earth did you pay for that?" gasped his mother.
"Easy, Mum." replied Amos, "I sold the television!"
中文：
买录像机
艾莫斯问妈妈他们是否能买一台录像机。
”恐怕我们还买不起，“妈妈叹息着说。
可第二天当艾莫斯回来时，他摇摇晃晃地搬着一台全新的录像机。
”你究竟是哪儿来的钱买这东西？“妈妈大吃一惊，喘着气说。
”妈妈，这简单，“ 艾曼斯回答。”我把电视机给卖了！"
0913
Compliment
"Larry! Come here!" said his furious mother, putting the telephone down, " I’ve just had a call from Mrs. Harrison about your behavior to her Doris at the school dance last night. You wretched, rude boy!"
"I was nice to her, Mum, really I was!" protested the youth.
"I even paid her a compliment when we had a dance."
"Did you, indeed?" said his mother grimly, "And what exactly did you say?"
"I said, Gosh, Doris, you sweat less than any fat girl I’ve ever danced with!"
中文：
恭维话
“拉里，你过来！”妈妈放下电话后生气地说，“我刚才接到哈里森夫人地电话，她告诉我你在昨晚的学校舞会上对多丽丝行为不好，你可耻，粗鲁！”
“妈妈，我对她很好，真的！”小伙子不服气地说。“当我和她跳舞时我还说了一句恭维她的话。”
“你真的这么做的吗？”妈妈严厉地问。“你的原话是怎么说的？”
“我说，啊呀，多丽丝，你比我跳过舞的任何胖姑娘出汗都少！”
