1028
How to do it?
A schoolgirl was sitting with her feet stretched far out into the aisle, and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her.
"Kate!" called the teacher sharply.
"Yes, sir?" questioned the girl.
"Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!"
中文：
怎样做？
一女生坐在座位上，嘴里拼命地嚼着口香糖，脚还伸到过道里，被老师给看见了。
“凯特！”老师大声地叫她。
“怎么了，老师？”这个女孩问道。
“把口香糖从嘴里拿出来，把你的脚放进去！”
1029
It was fine this morning.
Tommy's father rushed out of the bathroom waving his shaving brush.
"This thing's useless!" he complained. "I can't shave with it."
"That's funny," said Tommy. "It was fine this morning when I washed my bike with it."
中文：
今天早晨还好着呢
汤米的爸爸挥动着手里的修面刷从浴室里冲了出来。
“这个东西真是没用。”他抱怨着，“根本不能修脸。”
“真有意思，”汤米说，“我今天早晨用它刷我的自行车时它还好好的呢。”
1030
Who on earth Lost?
Frank likes gambling very much. Once he gambled with his boss,
saying, "A mole is on your chest, if you don't believe it, let's bet $500 on it."
The boss said seriously, "Give me your money." Saying that, he took off his clothes, as a matter of fact, nothing was on his chest. The boss got the money happily. He told one of his colleagues that he beat Frank in gambling.
His colleague got angry, saying, "Stop it. He gambled with me, he said he could make you take off your clothes in five minutes. And the price was $1,000."
中文：
到底谁输了？
弗兰克非常喜欢打赌。一次他和他的上司赌了起来：“你胸前有一块胎记，不信我们赌500块钱。
上司非常严肃地说，“把钱拿出来吧，你输了！”说着他脱下了衣服。
他的身上真的什么也没有。上司得意的收了钱。然后他跟一位同事说他和弗兰克打赌赢了。
同事非常丧气地说：“别提了，他刚才跟我打赌，他说他能在五分钟内让你脱下衣服，赌现金1000块。”
1031
My half was at the bottom of the bottle.
Jimmy and Tommy went off on their bikes for a picnic in the woods. They had one bottle of lemonade between then. Jimmy went to explore while Tommy unpacked the food. When he returned, he found the bottle was empty.
"Hey!" he exclaimed crossly. "Half of that was mine!"
"I know," said Tommy, "but I was thirsty, and as my half was at the bottom of the bottle I had to drink through yours to get to it."
中文：
我的那半儿在瓶子的下面。
吉米和汤米骑自行车去森林里野餐。他们带了一瓶柠檬水。在汤米准备食物的当儿，吉米去探险。当他回来后，发现瓶子空了。
“嗨！”他生气得嚷，“这水有一半是我的！”
“我知道，”汤米说，“但是我非常渴，而且我的那一半在下面，所以我只好先把你的那半喝了才能喝到我的那一半呀。”
1101
Mississippi and Ohio.
Teacher: What's your favourite state,Tommy?
Tommy: Mississippi.
Teacher: Then spell it.
Tommy: I changed my mind. I like Ohio much better.
中文：
密西西比和俄亥俄
老师：汤米，你最喜欢哪个州？
汤米：密西西比。
老师：那么，把它拼写出来。
汤米：我改变主意了。我还是比较喜欢俄亥俄州的。
1102
Who's the printer?
The professor was giving the final lecture of the term. He spoke about students work and asked them to prepare for the final examination well. He said, "The examination papers are now in the hands of the printer. Are there any questions?"
There was silence. But suddenly a voice from the rear sked, "Who is the printer?"
中文：
谁是印刷工？
教授在给学生上本学期的最后一堂课，他讲了一些关于学生的作业情况，然后要求学生好好准备期末考试。他说道，“考卷已经在印刷工手里了。还有什么问题吗？”
教室里一片寂静。突然从后排传出声音问道：“谁是印刷工呀？”
1103
Asking a question
During the computer class, the teacher chastised one boy for talking to the girl sitting behind him.
"I was just asking her a question, " the boy said.
"If you have a question, ask me," the teacher replied.
"OK," the boy answered. "Do you want to go out with me Friday night?"
中文：
问问题
计算机课上，老师批评一个男生，因为他和后边的女生说话。
“我只不过问她一个问题。”男生说。
“如果你有问题，问我好了。”老师说道。
“那好吧，”这个男生说，“周五晚上你愿意和我一起出去吗？”
1104
It depends.
One day a doctor went to a store and bought a pair of shoes. Before he left the shoes counter, he asked the salesgirl: " How long will this pair of shoes last?
"It depends. If you don't use it, the shoes will never wear out."
Several days later the salesgirl fell ill and went to a hospital. And the doctor happened to be the customer she served. After the girl got the prescription from the doctor, she asked: "How soon will I get better with the medicine?"
"It depends. " The doctor answered, "If you don't use it, you will never get better.
中文：
看情况而定
一天，一位医生到鞋店买了双鞋。他在离开柜台之前，问售货员：“这双鞋能穿多长时间？“
“看情况而定。如果您不穿它，那它们永远也不会坏。”
几天后，这位售货员病了，去医院看病。这位医生碰巧是那位顾客。
当售货员拿了处方后，问道：“吃了这药，我的病多长时间才能好呀？”
“看情况而定。”医生说，“如果你不吃药，你的病永远也好不了。”
1105
I'll take it as I didn't hear you.
John and Jack met in the street one day. "I want to ask you a favor, but can you keep it secret for me?" said John.
"Certainly I can, " answered Jack.
"I'm short of money these days. Will you please lend me some?"
"Oh, don't worry," Jack said. "I'll take it as if I did not hear you."
中文：
我就当没听见。
一天，约翰和杰克在街上相遇。约翰说：“我想请你帮个忙，不过你能替我保密吗？”
“当然能。”
“这些日子我缺钱话，你能借我可以吗？”
“噢，别担心，”杰克说，“我就当没有听你说过。”
1106
Do You Know My Work？
One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes．
Two men stood outside and looked at the fire．
“Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money． People don't think of money when they're afraid． When anyone leaves paper money in a fire， the fire burns it． So I took all the bills that I could find．No one will be poorer because I took them．”
“You don't know my work，” said the other．
“What is your work？”
“I'm a policeman．
“Oh！” cried the first man． He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work？”“No，”said the policeman。
“I'm a writer． I'm always telling stories about things that never happened．”
中文：
你知道我是干什么的?
一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。
两个人站在外面，看着大火。
“在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。”
“你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。
“你是干什么的？”
“我是JC。”
“噢！”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的？”“不知道。”JC说。
“我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。”
